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Five Things That Ruined My Life

by Ritu Gulabani

Not long back, I was a ruffled, disturbed and an unhappy being; until I learnt what I should do and what I shouldn’t. Gradually, I fathomed five things that were ruining my life and maybe yours too:

1.      Expectations
About ten years back, I was a person who had a lot of expectations. My list of expectations

was long and penetrating.

I expected my brother to take good care of our old widowed mother without realizing that it was my duty too and that we should together strive to make her independent and help her love the out life again.
I expected my husband to understand what I needed without even speaking out, as if he had some magical powers and would comprehend my mind.
I expected my infants to become a prodigy as soon as possible but that was so until I realized that they were too small and all they needed was love to grow; and understand and explore the world before following their own passion.
The day I dropped all my expectations, stopped cribbing and filled my mind with peace and love; I became happy. With time I realized that my brother was the best son, a mother could have; my husband was the best husband, a lady could have; my children were the best and adorable children, a mother could have.
2.  Comparison

I was comparing my life with others. Whenever I saw someone happy, all that I could assume about them was that their life was flawless. Their social media profiles seemed just perfect, their families appeared supportive and they were travelling frequently to foreign lands. There was perhaps no problem in their life; until I learnt that nobody lives a perfect life; until I learnt that we have to work towards a perfect life; until I learnt that many were living a fake life and until I learnt that many were under debt to display their so called beautiful life.
I am happy ever since I stopped comparing my life with others. I am happy ever since I started feeling grateful for all the good things in my life.
I am happy ever since I started thinking of exchanging my life with others and realizing that I was any day at a better position than most of them.

3.   Fear/ Worry: 

I have been a fearful person throughout my life. Fear and worry are two sides of the same coin. I was afraid of my grades and so was worried about my academic results and other performances, as a child. Although it produced good results but the law of inertia was working in my brain and fear enveloped the confidence. As life moved on and I started with my job, I feared that I might annoy my boss; I feared I might do some blunder and after marriage I feared to speak out; I feared I might annoy someone and all those useless fears and worries kept mounting and ruining my life. I stopped enjoying the delightful moments, till I realized that these small things cannot snatch the life out of me.
I slowly learnt to love myself and the moment my mind encountered fear, I posed the question “is it important in the purpose of my life”. If the answer was no, I stopped bothering about it and embraced peace and happiness.
4.   Negativity: 

I was concentrating too much on what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to get into troubles and complaints; I was getting into all sort of troubles, in fact I was asked to look into the grievances of customers.
I hated bitterness while I myself was being filled with bitterness.
I didn’t want to be home during holidays but the circumstances were forcing me to be at home during holidays.
I didn’t want to see some people, but every day I had to confront them; till I learnt that I had to concentrate on what “I want” rather than what “I don’t want”;till I realized that I should have a gratitude and a goal book to distract myself from all my negative and scary thoughts.  

And I started writing my affirmations and rejecting negative thoughts and here I am going to fulfill my dream of Mediterranean cruise and holidays, this summer. Isn’t it a miracle?

5.  Hatred: 
Image result for hatred ruins life
You will have to face what you hate. This is the law of nature and I am sure that most of you must have experienced it.
Be it people or situation, life will throw it on your face whatever you hate.
I had to deal with all the things that I hated but that was until the time I acknowledged the power of love and started filling myself with unconditional love for everyone and all sort of work. Although it’s difficult to ‘not to’ hate someone or something which is giving you lot of troubles; but knowing the fact that hatred will ruin your own life and others too, it’s better to put a bit of conscious efforts so that one can improve his/her life too.

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0 comment

Unknown April 20, 2018 - 10:21 pm

Loved this article. Can relate to real experiences!!

Unknown April 23, 2018 - 10:37 pm

This comment has been removed by the author.

Unknown April 23, 2018 - 10:39 pm

Meaningful,nicely written.

fromcaterpilartobuterfly April 24, 2018 - 3:19 pm

Thank you

fromcaterpilartobuterfly April 24, 2018 - 3:20 pm

Thank you so much

Unknown April 29, 2018 - 1:31 pm

Every one should learn to practice this….Going to try for sure

Ritu August 16, 2018 - 11:15 pm

Thanks so much! This means a lot to me.

Unknown December 17, 2018 - 10:44 pm


Unknown March 27, 2021 - 7:55 am

The truth of being happy narrated in very simple words. Too good. Appreciate your write up and would like that everyone should follow this to be happy.

Unknown March 27, 2021 - 11:19 pm

Awesome and relatable post


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